A Port St. Lucie woman faces criminal charges after a bizarre domestic incident involving nacho cheese escalated into violence, according to authorities.
Allyson Swan, 39, has been charged with one count of battery causing bodily harm, as recorded in St. Lucie County court documents.
The incident reportedly unfolded on the night of March 3 at the couple’s home on South Buttonwood Drive in Port St. Lucie, approximately 50 miles north of West Palm Beach.
Details of the incident were outlined in a report from the Port St. Lucie Police Department. Officers responded to a 911 call from a third party who claimed to hear their friend being attacked by her wife, Swan.
Upon arrival, Swan told officers “everything was fine” and described her wife as “drunk,” according to the arrest report. She denied any physical altercation and claimed her wife’s alleged drunken rage had led her to barricade herself in their bedroom.
However, her wife presented a different story.
According to the victim, the altercation began when Swan criticized her for eating nachos late at night, making a comment about her weight. During the argument, Swan allegedly grabbed a handful of nachos and shoved them down the back of her wife’s pants.
The situation escalated when the victim attempted to change clothes. Swan reportedly followed her, shoved her against a wall, dragged her to the bedroom by her hair, and pinned her face down on the floor.
“She shoved her fingers into either side of my mouth, hooking them like a fish,” the victim told police. Swan allegedly continued the assault by slamming the victim’s head into the floor multiple times and throwing water on her.
Investigators noted physical evidence that corroborated the victim’s account. Stains consistent with nacho cheese were found on the wall outside the bedroom, and a small hole in the wall matched the victim’s elbow. Officers also observed a hematoma on the victim’s forehead and scratches on her arm.
Swan denied the allegations, claiming her wife had thrown the nachos herself and rolled in the cheese. However, officers noted inconsistencies in her account, including the discovery of cheese inside the victim’s pants, which contradicted Swan’s version of events.
“It should be noted that the plate [the nachos were on] was ceramic and completely intact,” an officer remarked in the report.
Swan was arrested the night of the incident and later posted bond on May 7. She is scheduled to appear in court for her arraignment on June 2.
